Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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