she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
