I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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