he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
