she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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