found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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