remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
