Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
