belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm passing your future prison.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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