Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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