The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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