are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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