Sponge bath it is.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
