Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
