How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
