You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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