she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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