I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
