OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i out mim tonsoeep
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
