haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You're so nebulous sometimes
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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