so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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