I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
