Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
birth control should be required to get into college
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
