I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
