Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she smelled like a LAN party
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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