you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
