we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
