I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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