We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
