found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
