??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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