it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
