Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
