Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
