Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Farmville is her only friend.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
