you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We need to rekindle our bromance
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I still have a little drunk in my system
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
