i think i have herpe
just one?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
