If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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