WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
