it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
