Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
