u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
