my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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