Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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