Sry I called you an 8
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
