is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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