please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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