I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am full of burrito and curiosity
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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