Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
