i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
